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nyclarion
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Name: Stephen
Country: United States
State: New York
Metro: Flushing
Birthday: 12/28/1982
Gender: Male
Interests: family, writing, photography, philosophy, natural history, education, publishing, dragon boat, football, technology, ecology
Occupation: Accounting/Finance
Industry: Legal
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  nyclarion
MSN: stephen.chen.1@hotmail.com
Member Since:
4/14/2006
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| Robert McNeish wrote "Lessons from the Geese" in 1972 for a church sermon. Since then it has been shared around the world for its powerful lessons in the fundamentals of human relationships.
Fact #1: As each goose flaps its wings it creates an "uplift" for the birds that follows. By flying in a V formation, the whole flock adds 71% greater flying range than if each bird flew alone. People who share a common direction and sense a community can get where they are going quicker and easier because they are traveling on the thrust of one another.
Fact #2: When a goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of flying alone. It quickly moves back into formation to take advantage of the lifting power of the bird in front of it. If we have as much sense as a goose we stay in formation with those headed where we want to go. We are willing to accept their help and give our help to others.
Fact #3: When the lead goose tires, it rotates back into the formation and another goose flies to the point position. It pays to take turns doing the hard tasks and sharing leadership. As with geese, people are interdependent on each others skills, capabilities and unique arrangements of gifts, talents or resources.
Fact #4: The geese flying in formation honk to encourage those up front to keep up their speed. We need to make sure our honking is encouraging. In groups where there is encouragement, the production is much greater. The power of encouragement is the quality of honking we seek.
Fact #5: When a goose gets sick, wounded or shot down, two geese drop out of formation and follow it down to help and protect it. They stay with it until it dies or is able to fly again. Then they launch out with another formation or catch up with the flock. If we have as much sense as geese, we will stand by each other in difficult times as well as when we are strong.
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| I think most people can relate when I talk about having to deal with irrationally angry or overly confrontational people. Sometimes, people just need to be listened to but haven’t found the right outlets to express themselves constructively. Yelling is simply the easiest (and most immature) way for some people to secure a platform to be heard. Now, there are a few golden rules to conflict resolution and they are:
1) To remain calm (but to consider leaving if the situation turns verbally abusive).
2) To let the other person talk (and genuinely consider the other person’s views while validating what they say or admitting upfront if you are wrong).
3) To imagine you are dealing with a different, less confrontational person. A lot of times simply having to deal with the same person over asinine issues will be enough to instigate another bout of exasperation–prolonging the conflict. A better solution would be visualize yourself dealing with your younger cousins. Someone who can occasionally be a pain but you still truly love and care about. And, on a lesser note, also someone you will likely have to interact with over the course of a lifetime so you might as well look for sources of commonality and mutual interests.
Reference
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| The foundation of leadership is authenticity. Where is this leadership coming from? Is this an expression of ourselves deeply? Do these actions come from a place of core values or character? Or is it only from an external personality we’re created to “lead” and juggle responsibilities we’ve been asked to deal with.
Sometimes, because folks are asked to lead a group, they believe they must always have the answers. After all, it is thought that if limitations are revealed, they might be perceived as weak or incompetent. Ironically, this sets the stage for critical errors that may lead to crisis. To avoid this, it is crucial that individuals acknowledge mistakes and ask for help. Power lies not in being right, but in being authentic. As Socrates wrote in 400 BC, “Know thyself and thou shall know all the mysteries of the gods and of the universe…”
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| Today I celebrated Qingming, or Tomb Sweeping, day to pay homage to my Chinese ancestors. It is a day that highlights respect for elders and recognizes the duty and responsibilities of an individual.
The origin of this tradition is rooted in Chinese history and tells the story of a young prince forced to flee the palace. He wanders homelessly for 19 years and at his bleakest moment, collapsed to the floor in hunger and exhaustion. When a search for sustenance turns up empty, his loyal servant retreats into the woods and makes soup from his flesh to feed his master.
In time, the prince regains his strength and ascends to his rightful place on the thrown. In the dazzle of his new power, he neglects to reward his loyal servant until his officials remind him. By this time, his servant has retreated deep into the mountains to tend to his old mother.
Determined to thank his servant, the prince orders three sides of the mountain be set ablaze to force his servant into the open. The fires rages for 3 days and when the ashes settle, his loyal servant was found dead with his mother tied to his back.
Devastated, the prince ordered a temple be built in commemoration of his friend and promptly decreed that no fires be allowed for 3 days during a celebration, known as the Hanshi festival, when people are asked to eat their food cold.
Qingming follows the next day when Chinese people visit their ancestor’s cemeteries to sweep the tombs and offer sacrifices of food, flowers, and other favorites of the deceased. They burn incense, Joss paper, and bow before the memorial in a mark of respect and filial piety. | | |
| There is a Native American parable that goes something like this:
A child came home and told his grandfather how his classmates had ridiculed him and trashed his belongings. Hurt and angry, he told his grandfather how he hated them and wanted to hurt each with all heart.
The Grandfather held the small boy and said, "I too have felt a great hate for those that have taken so much with little or no remorse. I have struggled with these feelings and it is as if there are two wolves fighting in my heart."
He continues, "One wolf is noble, loving, and compassionate. He lives in harmony those around him and is benevolent. The other wolf is vengeful, angry, and violent. He fights everyone because his hate consumes him. It is sometimes hard to live with these two wolves inside me, for both are skilled warriors and try to dominate my spirit."
The boy looks up with quiet tears and asks, "Which wolf wins?"
The grandfather replies, "The one I feed."
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